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Bullying at School: What Parents Should Know and Look For

Bullying can have a devastating effect on its victims.  It is, unfortunately, a common occurrence. It is damaging emotionally to the victim and also to the bully. It leaves emotional scars on both. And a witness can be affected also.

Victims suffer emotional damage which may last for many years. The range of reactions can include low self-esteem, difficulty controlling anger, depression, anxiety, loss of trust in others, lack of assertiveness, isolation, and even aggression.

Signs That a Child is Being Bullied

Parents must be sensitive to signs that their child is experiencing bullying.

 

·       Reluctance to go to school

·       Complains that he has few or no friends

·       Depression that continues

·       Major changes in appetite for sleeping habits

·       Drop in school performance

There may be no physical wounds visible. Verbal bullying may be going on, and words can be just as damaging as physical injuries. The goal of the bully is to look superior and strong, so he or she will demean and degrade the victim. Girls employ verbal bullying more than boys.

Prevalence

·       Between one in four and one in three children say they have been bullied in school. In grades 6 to 12, 28 percent say it has happened to them. In grades 9 to 12, the percentage is 20.

·       About 30 percent admit they have bullied others.

·       Bullying has been observed by 70.6 percent of students in their schools and 62 percent have witnessed it two or more times in the last month. Another 41 percent say they have seen it at least once a week.

·       “Frequent” is considered two or more bullying episodes a month, and 40.6 percent of victims report this.

Kids at Risk for Being Bullied

Some children are more likely to be bullied than others:

·       Victims may be seen as different. They may be new at school, overweight, underweight, wear different clothing or wear glasses, or may not be dressed to look “cool.”

·       Victims may be perceived as unable to defend themselves or weak.

·       They may have low self-esteem or be anxious or depressed.

·       They may have few friends and be viewed as less popular.

·       They may be seen as annoying, provoking, or antagonizing others for attention and may not get along well with others.

·       There may be family problems, learning or physical disabilities, or emotional distress.

·       Especially vulnerable are the disabled, LGBTQ, racial, and religious minorities.

The Bully

Children who bully fall into two groups:

·       Those who are concerned about their popularity and enjoy feeling dominant and like to control others. They are socially powerful and connect well with peers.

·       The other group is less likely to be socially connected. They may have low self-esteem, be anxious or depressed, have little or no empathy, and are aggressive or anxious. They are less involved in school and may have issues at home. There is little parental involvement. They are easily influenced by other students, have other bullies as friends, see violence as acceptable, and may dislike others.

Types of Bullying and Locations

Bullying comes in many forms. Among middle school kids, the methods of bullying come in these varieties:

·       Name-calling - 44.2%

·       Teasing – 43.3%

·       Spreading rumors or lies – 36.3%

·       Pushing or Shoving – 32.4%

·       Hitting, slapping, Kicking – 29.2%

·       Social exclusion – 28.5%

·       Threatening – 27.4%

·       Stealing belongings – 27.3%

·       Sexual comments or gestures – 23.7%

The bullying behaviors mostly occur in schools, outside on the school grounds, on the school bus, the classroom, the hallways or lockers, the cafeteria, the gym or during phys ed, the bathroom, or on the playground or during recess.

“Pack bullying,” being bullied by a group, occurs more frequently in high school. It can be emotional or physical, and it lasts longer. It can be carried out online, where attacks can be anonymous. Cyberbullying can also be in the form of insulting comments, gossiping about the private details of the victim, exclusion from an online group or page, harassment, and impersonation of the victim, falsely creating posts that make him or her look bad.

Suicide

Bullying is commonly blamed for a child’s suicide. However, it is far more complicated than that. The vast majority of bullying victims do not consider or attempt suicide. Children who do consider it are usually involved with complex issues. There may be mental health issues, family problems, school stresses, poor relationships with peers, and romantic circumstances.

Children who witness bullying are also affected by it. They may feel helpless and lose a sense of connectedness. They also need support.

Bullying can be traumatic for many victims. It can produce severe mental distress which can last a long time. Young people should be able to find counseling and support. Parents should consider Hillcrest Adolescent Treatment Center for professional help.

November Wind

Lack of Sleep and Obesity

Everyone knows that eating too much and being a couch potato are the main factors in becoming overweight or obese.  But a number of studies are pointing to lack of sleep as a contributing factor. An alarming 65 percent of Americans are now either overweight (BMI of 25-30) or obese (30 or more).

A Harvard study showed that people who sleep less than 6 hours a night have a higher BMI than average, whereas those who sleep eight or more hours have the lowest BMI.  This applies to adults and children.

 The Nurses Health Study followed 60,000 nurses for 16 years.  None were obese at the beginning.   They were asked about their diets, sleep habits, and weights as they went along.  Short sleepers (5 hours or less) had a 30 percent higher chance of putting on 30 pounds than those who slept 7 hours or more.

Forty percent of adults do not get the recommended amount of sleep, whereas, in the 1940s, only 11 percent came up short.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) considers this a public health concern. It is interesting that the obesity epidemic in the US has also occurred in recent decades, and the numbers are still rising.

What actually happens in the body that causes weight gain from lack of sleep?  When asleep, the body produces hormones that help control hunger, regulate energy levels, and aid in glucose (blood sugar) processing.  Poor sleep disrupts the balance of these hormones, which are:

·       Cortisol, the “stress hormone,” is secreted when the body is not functioning smoothly due to lack of sleep.  It is also connected to insulin which regulates blood sugar and aids in fat storage.  Insulin is a factor in weight gain and diabetes.

·       Leptin is a hormone that signals the brain when a person has had enough food to eat, giving that full but not stuffed feeling. Lack of sleep can lower the level of leptin and cause the body to want more and more food.

·       Ghrelin is an appetite stimulant and higher levels, caused by poor sleep, can make a person hungrier.

When awake, the poor sleeper may not only be hungry but may want sweets for energy, develop food cravings, and a desire for comfort foods, which tend to be high in carbohydrates and fat.

Other reasons contributing to weight gain for poor sleepers are:

·       Being awake more hours means that a person is around food more, especially if awake at night.  A study of nurses that work the night shift as part of a rotation showed a greater chance of becoming obese and developing diabetes.

·       People who lack sufficient sleep are often too tired to exercise.  They don’t participate in sports or other activities and rest in front of the TV for much of their time.

Simply sleeping more is not a cure for obesity.  Too many other factors are in play. But enough sleep will elevate mood, improve concentration and alertness and raise the quality of life.