I sat behind the steering wheel and screamed.
Moments before I had heard a thump on my right fender. I looked to the side and
saw a little girl who had landed in a heap by the curb. I screamed and slammed
on the breaks. I wanted to get out of the car but was paralyzed. Suddenly, I
felt a searing pain between my index and middle fingers. The cigarette I held
slid down and burned the space between the two. I screamed again. All of a
sudden there were people all around. Children were also screaming on the
sidewalk. Adults were running around. Someone knocked on my car door. I managed
to lower the window and a woman asked, "Are you all right?"
"Yes," I mumbled. How did this happen? Why didn't I see her? Is it my
fault? Where did she come from? Soon a policeman knocked on my window. He asked
me a few questions. One was, "Were you wearing your seat belt?"
"Yes." I don't remember anything else he said. He left. The police
were measuring my skid marks. I waited. The ambulance came. I didn't want to
watch but I couldn't help it. She moved. I sighed. I felt a slight sharp pain
on my right thigh. I glanced down to see a match. Then suddenly it hit me - I
was lighting my cigarette - reaching into my purse, striking the match,
lighting the cigarette. As soon as I finished, the "thump". Oh my
God! It was my fault.... but only one person will ever know..
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